*This is a fictional story based on actual events




It was Friday night in Harlem, the boulevard was popping, you could hear the mix tapes bumping a mile away.

Jamal Lockhart was Jamaican, he was beautiful, the color of smooth brown chocolate with natural curly hair, perfect teeth, keen features, long lashes, dark brows, black eyes, full lips and a body-building physique.

Jamal was slinging rock and ecstasy on the boulevard.  He had to increase his profits, his live-in girlfriend Julia just had a baby, Jamal, Jr.

The next day, Jamal and his homey “Tease” went to Rucker’s Park off 155th Street to watch the EBC (Entertainer’s Basketball Classic).  Sixteen teams participated.   Rappers and NBA stars were in attendance.  Hip-hop labels sponsored the teams.

The players ran like gazelles and defied gravity with high flying-rim rattling dunks.  The slam-dunks had the crowd on their feet.  The excitement was contagious.

After the game, Jamal and Tease joined in a game of C-Lo, a popular dice game.  Jamal was on a run, he kept rolling 4-5-6. He won three hundred dollars.

Afterwards, they went to a 24-hour fitness center.  Jamal was an amateur bodybuilder.

Sunday night, Jamal returned to the boulevard to sling crack and ‘X.’

Jamal looked up and saw his older cousin Russell coming towards him, Jamal got nervous, Russell was an undercover police detective. He motioned for Jamal.  He said, “haul ass, the boulevard is going to be busted in thirty minutes, you better find another way to make a living, next time I see you out here, I ain’t gonna warn you, now get the fuck out of here!”

Sure enough, the boulevard was busted, four dealers were taken into custody.

That was a close call, time to get out the drug game, he heard that Johnnie’s nightclub was hiring waiters and bouncers, he would go down and apply.

Jamal returned home, he took Julia out to dinner while a neighbor watched their son.  Julia loved going out with her man, to show him off, he was so damn fine and he was a good father.   Women were always trying to jock him. Jamal told Julia that he was getting out the drug game, he had a close call, Julia was happy and she encouraged him.

They returned home, Julia put the baby to sleep and led Jamal into the bedroom, after undressing him, she stood and admired his body before they made love.

Jamal went to Johnnie’s nightclub.  He was hired as a bouncer/waiter.  He didn’t make the kind of money he had become accustomed to, over the next few months, money became tight, Jamal was barely supporting his family.

Mon-Thursday was reserved for strip shows, Friday-Sunday was reserved for hip-hop and house.

After six months, Johnnie called Jamal into his office.  He told him, you doing a good job, a rich guy rented out the club for a private party, I need one more waiter, extra money and big tips.  One thing I need to tell you, it’s a gay party.

Jamal said, hell naw!  I can’t be in the same room with fags, don’t want them near me.  Johnnie said, hold up, keep your distance and make the money, you could make $500-$600 in tips, get paid.  Think about it and get back to me.

Jamal returned home, hardly any food in the refrigerator, the baby was crying in the background, they were barely making it, he made a decision, he would work the party, get the money and bounce.

The party was slamming, Jamal was taken aback when the men danced with each other.  Numerous men hit on Jamal, he became uncomfortable but held his composure and told them he was straight.

Jamal was alarmed when he saw men making out and taking ecstasy in the men’s room.

At the end of the night, Jamal made $500 in tips, he went to the gym to work off the tension.

The money didn’t last long.  A few months later, Jamal was thinking about quitting and getting back into the drug game.  Johnnie called him into the office.

A hip-hop mogul will be hosting a private party, would you be interested in working as a waiter?  Jamal eagerly agreed and asked, who is the mogul? Johnnie replied, our hometown hero, Theron.  Jamal’s eyes got as big as saucers, everyone knew Theron, he owned his own label.  He was worth $100 million dollars.

Theron arrived at the party with his porn star girlfriend, Nicole; she only did lesbian porn scenes.  Cristal and Dom was flowing, Theron’s roster performed.  Numerous hip-hop superstars were in attendance.

Jamal noticed Theron staring at him, Theron motioned for him. Jamal refilled his drink, Theron told him, I been watching you, you carry yourself well, you seem real professional, the kind of people I like around.  I’m giving an after-party tonight, why don’t you stop by, I’ll write down the address.

Jamal left the club and went to the party.  Athletes, rappers and actors mingled.  Jamal felt out of place, Theron approached, hey man, glad you could make it.  They talked about sports and the rap industry, Jamal downed a few drinks and took a ‘X’ tablet.  Jamal asked, where is the bathroom?  Theron said upstairs, I’ll show you.

He led Jamal to his master bathroom, when Jamal came out, Theron was waiting and looking at Jamal strange, Jamal was becoming uncomfortable, he didn’t like the vibe.  Theron said, you one gorgeous dark skinned motherfucker, women must be throwing pussy at you 24/7.  Jamal muttered, yeah, something like that, we better get back.  Theron said, we ain’t in no rush, I got a proposition for you. You wanna make $1500 in cash, Jamal asked, doing what?  Without warning, Theron groped Jamal.  Jamal pushed him back and said, man, I ain’t into no fag shit, I didn’t know you were bi.  Theron became incensed, I ain’t bi, I consider myself a downlow brotha.  Hell, you shouldn’t be surprised, many brothas are on the downlow, you should have seen it coming, in the hood, we respect our boys more than our women, they come before our women, we hang-out in posse’s with our dawgs, it was only a matter of time before we started fucking each other!

Shit, I could tell you some stories, my cousin is gay, he a ‘top dawg,' he told me, most of the men he fucks are married men, these married men got something in common, they love being ‘bottoms’ and they don’t want him using condoms because they don’t use rubbers with their wives, they see no need for them.  Everyone telling single women to be careful, it ain't unusual for a single woman to demand a man use a condom but a married woman ain't gonna ask her husband to use a condom, what if her husband is creeping with other men?  Married women have the same amount of risk (if not more) as single women.  In our world, we have sex with each other for pleasure, we have sex with women for breeding.

My cousin fucks a lot of these fraternity brothers, they got the downlow on lockdown!

Theron continued, man, I won’t think you a fag if you let me suck you off, ain’t no penetration and you on the receiving end, I bet you could use the money. Here take some more ‘X,” and take a few sips of your drink and calm your ass down. Ain’t nobody got to know. Tell you what, I will pay you $2,000, you gonna accept my offer or not?  The ‘X’ had Jamal light headed and he did need the money. Jamal slowly walked towards Theron, he stood in front of him, Theron unzipped Jamal’s pants.

Afterwards, Jamal thought, it wasn’t that bad, he left Theron his number and left.  The next day, he bought Julia flowers, he wanted to take her to dinner, she agreed to go, after the Wendy Williams show, he took her out to a nice steak dinner.

A week later, Jamal got a call on his cell phone from someone who introduced himself as Kristoff, Theron’s personal assistant.  Theron wanted to invite him to a function on a party boat, come alone.

The party was in full swing when Jamal arrived, he was among the hip-hop elite, he noticed something else, no women were in attendance.

Jamal was a bit uncomfortable, the men openly leered at him, he loosened up after a few drinks.  Male strippers performed for the men.  The same men Jamal saw on TV and in hip-hop publications with their wives and girlfriends.

The men were groping the male strippers, some openly propositioned them and disappeared behind closed doors.   You could hear lovemaking sounds throughout the boat.

Theron motioned for Jamal and led him into a secluded room below the deck.  Theron started fondling Jamal’s penis, he became aroused, Theron tossed him a tube of lubrication, I want you to fuck me raw dawg style, be my top dawg.  Jamal hesitated until Theron threw a bundle of one hundred dollar bills at him.  Jamal walked towards him, yanked his pants down and bent him over; he put on a rubber without Theron's knowledge.

Over the next few days, Julia began complaining, Jamal didn’t want to have sex and he was acting distant and where was all this money coming from, when she asked him, he said that he was working private parties, some of the rich people left big tips, his busy schedule was making him too tired for sex, things would improve.

Jamal received a call from Kristoff, Theron wanted Jamal to accompany him to St. Tropez where he docked a yacht.  Also, Theron travels out of the country often, he will send a car for you today, go get a passport photo done, afterwards, the driver will rush you to the passport office, you will receive your passport today because of Theron's VIP status, when you finish, the driver will drive you to the airport where a ticket is waiting for you.

Jamal boarded a chartered plane.  Theron embraced him and introduced him, the plane was exclusively male.   Shortly into the flight, a married hip-hop superstar led his downlow boyfriend into a private compartment in the back of the plane.

They arrived in St. Tropez, checked into a spacious hotel suite and called a gay escort agency.  Several male prostitutes arrived. Rubbers were distributed, a gay orgy was in progress, afterwards, bodies were stewn all over the place.  The suite reeked of sex.

The next day, they finished the party on the yacht.  Everyone gathered around to watch gay porn, drink Cristal and play poker. Theron accessed his internet account and logged on to the website.  The home for downlow brothas on the internet.

They flew to Las Vegas the next day, Theron lost $100,000 at the Roulette wheel.  Theron’s girlfriend Nicole flew in, Jamal was ignored, Theron sent him back home.

Jamal heard from Theron two weeks later, he told Jamal, a limo will pick you up in a few hours, Theron was in the limo and instructed the driver to go to the airport.  They flew to Florida for an awards show, afterwards, escorts from a New York downlow agency were flown in.  The party lasted all night, two rappers almost came to blows, competing for a escort.  The room was filled with homo-thugs from the hip-hop industry.

In the corner of the room, a married rap producer was getting a full-body hot oil massage from one of the male escorts, the escort seemed to be focused on massaging the producer’s private parts.  Before long, they went into one of the bedrooms.

In the morning, Theron ordered a dozen white towels.  He had several of the escorts strip down and wrap towels around their waist, it turned him on to see men wrapped in white towels.

When room service arrived, one server recognized Theron and was taken aback at all the men in his suite, especially the ones wrapped in towels, you could see their erections through the towels.

When she left the room, she contacted the tabloids and faxed a Xerox copy of Theron’s hotel registration form, a blind item regarding a rap mogul and several men in a hotel suite appeared in the next issue.

From Florida, Theron and Jamal flew to Belgium.  Theron loved authentic Belgium waffles, the waffles were so tasty, they didn’t require syrup or butter.

From there, they went to Brazil.   Jamal was admiring the beauty of the Brazilian women when Theron flashed on him, when you with me, bitches are invisible, you got that!

Jamal returned home exhausted, over the next few months, Jamal lost touch with Theron.

One day at the club, he got a visit from a Health Department official telling him his name appeared on a HIV disclosure/notification list.  Jamal became terrified, she urged him to get tested and left.  Jamal muttered, that fucking Theron, that fucking bastard!


Jamal tested negative, he quit the club, got out of the downlow lifestyle, took a job at the post office and married Julia.

Theron became an outcast in the hip-hop community when his positive results were leaked to the press.  He denied being gay or bi-sexual and blamed his infection on his porn star girlfriend Nicole, although he infected her.  She became blacklisted in the porn industry.


A man who verbally bashes gays on a constant basis.

A man who seems to prefer the company of his male friends over you.

A man who physically or emotionally abuses women consistently, he is acting out his anger and hatred towards women.

A man who has been incarcerated in the past or present.

A man who stares at other men when you are out in public.

A man who refuses to get a HIV test prior to sex.

If your man talks to a male friend on a constant basis in hushed tones and if that same friend acts uncomfortable around you.






















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